Turning Failure into Success

Original Publish Date: June 1, 2009

I was reading a friends blog a while ago about life’s funny twists and turns… and one of her stories led me to think back a bit about how I got myself into the predicament I am in today.

I graduated from UBC with my B.A.Sc in Civil Engineering in 2004, and worked for over a year in a small structural engineering consulting company in Surrey. However, after some time, I found myself wanting to come back to school due to the crappy pay, poor working conditions, and lack of job satisfaction… I figured getting my masters degree would be a good way to increase my credentials so that I could get a job at a better company after I completed. I spoke with one of my old professors, and he suggested that in order to guarantee entry into the program (as for some reason, it was quite competitive at the time), I apply for a non-thesis based M.Eng, rather than for a thesis based M.A.Sc, do well in my course work, and then if I wanted to, transfer into the M.A.Sc later on. Essentially, the plan was that within 18-24 months, I would be done with my studies and back in the work force leading a regular, mundane life… but it seems life has a funny way of playing tricks on you…

Now it had been well over a year since I had been out of school, and the first semester I was back, I found myself really struggling with academics… I just wasn’t used to the routine of sitting/sleeping through morning lectures, working through insanely long assignments, and then cramming for tests. Also, I was a bit depressed because it seemed as if all my friends from undergrad were moving onto bigger and better things in their lives, and here I was stuck in reverse, back in school. To top it off, the program advisor suggested that I take 3 courses in my first semester… and those three courses happened to be the most difficult courses in the program, and in my opinion, quite possibly, contained some of the most difficult subject material you can take in engineering in general.

I somehow managed to slog my way through two of the courses, but the third became the absolute bane of my existence. No matter how much I studied, I just could not understand the subject, and it showed in my poor midterm mark, as well as in my assignment submissions. I studied like mad for the final exam, and prayed like anything that I could just pass the course so that I would never have to think about it again… unfortunately this was not to be. Although I passed the course, my grade was not high enough for me to get credit for the course towards my program… essentially, I would have to retake the course in a year (thereby delaying my graduation), or take another course over the summer in order to make up for it.

Now I had usually been a pretty decent student. In fact in high school, I was one of the better students in the school, and even during undergrad, in the instances when I actually did do some work, I usually managed to get pretty decent marks. So being told I had to retake a course was absolutely mortifying for me. At the time, I think I considered it my biggest failure ever… however, left with no choice, I started looking for a professor who would give me a research project over the summer so that I could make up for the missed credits. And this is where my life took a turn in a totally different direction.

That summer, I met with my current Ph.D supervisor. I had always considered research as kind of a waste of time, but since I didn’t have a choice, I asked him if he could take me on as his directed studies student. I had done pretty decently in one of his courses, and so thankfully he agreed. At first things started kind of slow, but for some odd reason, I found myself beginning to develop an interest in the subject area, and in doing research in general. I did well in the project, and he agreed to accept me as his M.A.Sc student. Over time, I guess I continued to do well, and he offered to take me on as a Ph.D student.

Now, never in a million years, had I, or anyone around me imagined I could possibly have the title, “Dr.” associated with my name. And even I was EXTREMELY hesitant at the idea of sentencing myself to another 3-4 years of school… however, the idea was intriguing, and since I did seem to share a good relationship with my supervisor, after many months of sweating over it, I decided to accept the offer, and I guess the rest is history…

I am without question the worlds most unlikely Ph.D candidate, and when I tell people that if I can do a doctorate, then ANYONE can do a doctorate, I really mean it… think about it… a distinctly mediocre undergrad who failed in his first semester as a masters student, and was never too keen on research anyway, is now somehow on the road to a Ph.D…

If I hadn’t failed that course years ago, I would never have started looking for a research project, and I would never would have gotten where I am now. Of course, for that matter, I am still not sure if I have even taken the right decision, but I suppose time will tell.

Your attitude can be your biggest friend... or your biggest foe. In my limited experience, I have found that while a positive attitude does not necessarily guarantee success, a negative attitude will pretty much guarantee failure. I suppose the moral of this post is that one should always try to stay positive, never give up hope, and try to turn your failures into successes… life is a trip, and things seem to have a strange way of working out…