The Big Fat Indo-Canadian Wedding

Several of my very good friends are getting married this summer, and I guess I get to take a more active role this time around. I have attended a few weddings in India, but mostly as an outside guest, and not a member of the 'inner circle'. Perhaps for this reason, although I have enjoyed the weddings I have experienced in India, I definately have more knowledge of what goes on at the Canadian version.

One of the nice things about the Canadian version is how it is possible to try and blend the old traditions in with the new. Mehndi/Haldi is commonly done, and the ceremony itself is usually held at the Mandir/Masjid/Gurudwara. But along side of this, things like the 'First Dance', Cake Cutting, and Introductory Slide Shows of the happy couple have been silently incorporated into the festivities.

No doubt the Indian version is purely authentic, but the Canadianized version can be quite a blast. In fact, people go all out to try and imitate the glitz of the posher Indian weddings, which I am quite sure is inspired by what we are exposed to in Bollywood movies. While it is difficult to copy the wedding ceremonies themselves, mainly due to lack of time, and facilities, it seems as if a concious decision is made to try and outdo one another at the wedding reception(s). These days, things are stage managed, with professional photographers, videographers, the most glamorous of dresses, expensive jewelery, color themes (yes, it is imperative that the seat covers must be color coordinated with the grooms tie apparently), slide shows, stage performances, DJs, bad jokes by the MC, etc, etc, etc... The lowest cost I hear of these days at a wedding is not less than 50k, with richer couples spending upwards of 6 figures on their wedding festivities! Wow, with costs like that, it is probably good to remain a bachelor!!! To be honest, I am sure that in the midst of trying to impress family, friends, relatives and strangers the families of the bride and groom are probably stretching themselves to the limit, but heck, they want us to enjoy, and enjoy we do to the max!!!

The food... ah the food... the quality of a recpetion is judged not by the happiness of the bride and groom, but by how many appetizers are served (usually not less than 3). You have heard of a 6 course dinner? Well how about a 6 course appetizer? Vege Pakoras, Tandoori Chicken, Fish Pakoras, Paapri Chat, Tandoori Rumal Rotis, Gol Gappe... yes my friends, this is quite common. And I haven't even started with dinner yet.

To wrap up, just a list of stereotypes which I find applicable to most, if not all Indo Canadian wedding receptions (and I am sure those who have been in my position can add to this list, so I would like to encourage you to do so):

1) Butter Chicken. I have not encountered a wedding reception where this has not been served. Even if the bride and groom are vegetarians, to keep the meat eaters happy, somehow, this dish makes it into all of the dinner menus.

2) Michael Jackson. I do not understand why, but for some reason when playing the English Music, most DJs are obsessed with playing 'Thriller' as many times as possible during the night...

3) Crazy Dancing Aunty. There is always one crazy aunty who rocks the dance floor (or at least thinks she is rocking the dance floor). You can recognize this aunty as there is usually a circle of wide eyed younger people who dance in a circle around her in a mesmorized trance.

4) Drunk Uncle. There is always one alcoholic uncle who has a few too many during the night and ends up on the dance floor trying to do the Macarena while balancing a half-empty bottle on his head. It never works... you can recognize this uncle as the tie he is wearing usually starts off around his neck, and ends up around his forehead.

5) The Performance by a Relative. Sometimes good, usually a snooze, the bride/grooms nephew/niece/brother/sister/6th cousin is inevitably forced to do a dance performance during the reception. The good thing for the performer is that no matter how the performance is, he/she is rewarded by crazy dancing aunty (see number 3 above) who will come up, and join in the dance near the end and reward the performers with no less than $20.

6) The hopeless MC. I have attended very few weddings where the MC has actually been good. Usually its not even his/her fault, as people are too busy eating/gossiping/getting sloshed at the open bar. Usually he/she fades into the background, and their lasting memories are unfortunately of having made bad jokes, and dealing with poorly functioning A/V eqpt.

7) Irritating glass tappers in the audience. One of the weirder rituals that seems to have been picked up from western weddings, is that of someone in the audience tapping on their drinking glass loudly with their silverware during the reception. This is to indicate that it is time for the bride and groom to publicly display their affection for each other in front of everyone with a kiss on the lips. Unfortunately, with Indian weddings, the bride and groom are usually too shy/terrified for any PDA, and so instead, are forced to uncomfortably sit still while the irritating glass tappers tap on their glasses until they finally run out of strength in their wrists...